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Queer Writer & Poet | Sex and Sensuality | Linguistics, Health, and Wellness Interests | Personal Experience | LINKTR.EE/TOLBERTMBB

Mostly Schlock But It Is Nice to See a Growth Progression

An individual in a red hoodie has their fists balled up by their head, mouth open in a scream, and blonde hair flung out and to the side obscuring their eyes and nose.
Photo by Jan Kopřiva from Pexels

I Love the Rain

#Gratitude #Refresh

It’s Hard.

#Abuse #Neglect #Heartbreak

When the Rain Hits

#LovePoem #Pleasure #Kissing

Like Water I Am

#Identity #ZodiacSigns #Metaphor

What’s a Lady?

#RespectabilityPolitics #BeingALady #Etiquette

YAS ORC UEUM (You are scum.)

#Rage #Ghosting

Game of Dookie

#Angst #Opportunism #Disrespect

The Weeping Bird Cries

#Angst #Trauma

Scissor me, Slice me, Contusion me, Problem me, Pang me, Empty me, Lonely me

#Anguish #Heartbreak

Body Battle, Part Two

In March 2021, I wrote the first Body Battle installment. In this first part, I discuss my first time meeting with an endocrinologist, history of thyroid conditions, and symptoms. In this next part, I will go into what has happened in the last six months regarding life with Hashimoto’s Thyroiditis, changing medicine, and finding the right dosage.

Liar Liar I’M Kicking My Ass GIF By Jerology

Appointments and Labs

Since March, I have seen the endocrinologist twice more, once in May and once in September. In May, they increased my dosage from 112 mcg to 125 mcg. At the time…

Prose on awareness and action

Living life like a shelled up reptile.

The powers that be authoritizing how you should be.

Convinced that this way of being is the best you can expect.

Until one day your shell is aflame.

Your voice finds you and you wail.

They tell you: that is not the way to get things done.

But I am on fire.

You realize you are not the only one on fire.

There are many turtles on fire.

Through talking to other reptiles you discover that this way of being is no longer the way.

You harness the fire, you continue to speak up, and you blaze the path anew.

Shelling up was never the best you could expect.

A turtle with its head craned to the left of the picture. It’s sitting on a rock with water in the background.
Photo by Vlad Chețan from Pexels

Visual representation of story on @tolbert_on_medium Instagram

Starting out the day, energized and ready to tackle all the things that come my way. Fired up and aflame with stick-to-it-iveness. Burning with perseverance and oriented to goals.

A purple orb lit up with golden light coming through it opened up spots. It looks like a planet or a ball of energy full of heat and glowing.

Somewhere along the way I forget about the charging bull in the room. It has been grazing on sustenance but has suddenly remembered its purpose — to wreak havoc. The charging bull has a name and it is Mercury Retrograde. The room has a name and it is Universe. My position in front of the computer has a name and I will refer to it as Fuuuuuck.

That web software I…

A side profile of a bald man in glasses gripping the back of his neck, while eyes are closed and wincing in pain.
A side profile of a bald man in glasses gripping the back of his neck, while eyes are closed and wincing in pain.
Photo by Kindel Media from Pexels

a poem about acceptance and dejectedness

Prose about gendering

My assignment at birth

was to study, embody, and become

a female and all of her feminine ways.

How many times I failed!

A newborn with their eyes wide open, mouth agape, and left hand balled into a fist. They have a ribbon atop a mass of hair and a lacy collared dress.
Newborn me.

But the perfectionist in me, the overachiever

would not give up.

So, there were successes, too,

but winning at being a cis sis

did not comfort me.

A constant fight, the inner struggle —

being called a “weirdo” and “weird”

never understanding that I was

projecting the battle of

HETERONorm vs. QUEERing.

Generations before me still trying to wrap their head around “queer” being a “good word” and the concept of word reclamation.

I claim being queer.


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