Birth Assignment
My assignment at birth
was to study, embody, and become
a female and all of her feminine ways.
How many times I failed!
But the perfectionist in me, the overachiever
would not give up.
So, there were successes, too,
but winning at being a cis sis
did not comfort me.
A constant fight, the inner struggle —
being called a “weirdo” and “weird”
never understanding that I was
projecting the battle of
HETERONorm vs. QUEERing.
Generations before me still trying to wrap their head around “queer” being a “good word” and the concept of word reclamation.
I claim being queer.
I claim being masculine while being female.
But it leaves parts of me unclaimed, uncharted, undefined. A map of a mess, if you will.
I am ok with not being labeled, boxed, categorized, and invaded…
Some parts and some places are not meant for discovering.
Visual representation of story on @tolbert_on_medium Instagram
