Similar to Craigslist, “Missed Connections” I will describe things I should have purchased, but didn’t.
Little Debbie Nutty Bars
I thought about you daily for a week and put off the craving. What I remember of you from childhood — a chocolate and peanut butter delectable fantasy. I kept telling myself that childhood me could not be trusted. Childhood me’s memory has disappointed us before. Then, I was in the store with the kids and could put you off no longer. I had to have you. I picked up your box and added to my cart. You were bagged with my other purchases. We brought you home and shelved you temporarily. Dinner ended and your twin packs were dispersed. That first bite was better than memory. The chocolate melting on my tongue, the delicate wafers dissolving, and a peanut butter finish eliciting the ohhhs and ahhhs your deliciousness brings forth. Sweet release.
Crab Rangoon at Hot Wok
I was perusing the take-out menu. Looking for items to order for my family’s feast. The kids had mentioned you by name. My eyes lingered on the text where you were listed under the appetizers. I thought about your crispy, flaky, petals crunching and melting in my mouth, and your creamy, lightly sweet center warming my tongue. In the end, the Steamed Pot Stickers and Egg Rolls won. I know you’ll be around for a future fix.
CHI Travel-Sized Flat Iron at TJ Maxx
You were sitting on an endcap shelf, in a small black rectangular box with a plastic peep screen to see you. You were a CHI brand travel-sized, smaller barrel 3 -in- 1 flat iron for $25. I wanted to buy you for my daughter as a X-mas present, but couldn’t commit to the purchase in that moment. When I returned three weeks later, you had fled from the endcap. In mad haste, I searched the beauty tools shelves of similar rectangular boxes, but alas someone else declared their commitment to you and rushed in. If you should reconsider and find yourself back on that endcap or shelved with the other beauty tools, I would love to show you the commitment you deserve.
Disclaimer: If you’re here because of the “Weird Humor” tag, you’re in luck. I don’t know how to play it cool like people tend to do when they’re dating, so if you came here for dating language or help, and/or help with playing it cool, you’re sorely out of luck.
