My Grief Monster
Nikita talks about nurturing and loving the
“painful monster” that is grief — “a thing with fangs.”
I perseverate on this idea while grappling
with my own grief monster
that has mutated into a
sprouting a new head
like the cancer
threatening to overtake Granny.
My grief monster is a bureau
of future losses — my job, newfound
happiness that developed from this job,
relationships built at this job,
the healing that moved in with the start
of this new job, and learning
that Granny is on hospice care.
The grief monster has reared its many heads
and intermittently sunk its teeth into my feelings.
I allow myself to be in my feelings and
nourish the “painful monster” in hopes
that giving myself over to my monster
and my feelings will make space
In time, the growing pains and the “bite”
of the grief monster will lessen in their
intensity leaving me with
stretch marks and scars.
A road map of where I have been
and prospects of where I will go.
(includes screenshot of Instagram post and citation)
Gill, N. [@nikita_gill]. (2021, February 21). TW: talking about grief. With due credit to Emily Dickinson, this poem’s title and first line is inspired by “Hope Is The Thing With Feathers.” [Photograph]. Instagram. https://www.instagram.com/p/CaPmmEAoWbh/?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=