The Rainbow Winged Butterfly and Black Widow Spider
Once upon a time, there was a beautiful butterfly with rainbow colored wings. No other butterfly in existence had these extraordinary markings. This butterfly stood out. Wherever it flew and landed, it caught the attentions of the critters surrounding it. People wanted to capture, keep, and/or study it. Insects and other butterflies sought to destroy it. There was nary a living thing that reached out and tried to get to know the rainbow winged butterfly.
Over the years, the rest of the butterfly community came together in their despise of the rainbow winged butterfly. They would say nasty things out loud about the rainbow winged butterfly in front of them as well as snivel behind their back. They would give the rainbow winged butterfly tasks to build up their confidence and tear it down when the task was complete. The stress and anxiety built up over time and worked its way into the rainbow butterfly’s wings. Slowly, the pieces of the wings began to fade and thin until one day the rainbow winged butterfly had only enough energy to crawl along the ground. Their wings were not strong enough to flutter nor coast into the air.
It was then at the rainbow butterfly’s lowest point they met another outsider, a black widow spider. Black widows were feared in most communities of living beings. For their bite is poisonous and deadly. No one had dared get close enough or bothered to strike up a conversation with a black widow. People would run away or try to stomp it out, most bugs and insects would give it a wide berth. Yet, unbeknownst to many, the black widow is full of wisdom and powers to heal.
The black widow in their wisdom and empathy sensed the pain and suffering of the rainbow winged butterfly beyond seeing the condition of their wings. They conversed with the butterfly telepathically to ease the burden on the butterfly as they had undergone internal breakdown as well as external. The black widow told the rainbow winged butterfly about the healing powers of their silk when infused with empathy and wrapped around the broken parts of an individual. See, for the black widow this was no great task. Silk weaving was boundless and infinite just like the empathy that the black widow was ready to impart. Even though, the black widow was known as a great killer of living things, it also had the power to greatly heal.
The black widow got to work weaving in and around and all about the rainbow winged butterfly while being extra delicate with the patches of wings that remained. When the spider was through the rainbow winged butterfly was in a cocoon.
Cocoon life was nice for the rainbow winged butterfly. It provided them time to heal, to reflect, to strengthen their weaknesses, to work through the negativities they had over time succumbed to, to learn how to survive trauma, and to sit. The sitting was sometimes the most difficult part. For it required the rainbow winged butterfly to navigate all the terrible things said and done to them, as well as face the terrible things they had believed about themselves over time. Some days were better than others. To sit with discomfort, to sit in external silence as the mind rages, and to just be were practices the rainbow winged butterfly had never been shown or learned before.
In this time, the rainbow winged butterfly was able to still complete their work but not much was required of them from the butterfly community. The rainbow winged butterfly had gone quiet and thusly the community had almost all but forgotten their existence.
The black widow spider and the rainbow winged butterfly spent a great deal of time together mentally while the butterfly was cocooned. They would have many telepathic conversations that helped give the rainbow winged butterfly new perceptions and new ways of thinking. Over time, the support from the black widow spider and the healing silk helped to transform the rainbow winged butterfly.
One day, the rainbow winged butterfly felt different. Not a good different and not a bad different but changed. (They did not realize it at the time but some of the silk had dissipated and been absorbed by their body.) As they looked out from their cocoon post and saw one of the members from the butterfly community near they decided to greet them. And that butterfly greeted them warmly in return. Each butterfly went on about their day.
The next day went similarly. And the next. The rainbow winged butterfly’s cocoon was slowly breaking down and their confidence was building. But one day after one of these regular greetings the rainbow winged butterfly realized this was not enough. It was not enough to be warmly greeted every day — they wanted more. The more they wrestled with their longing, the more despair they felt. They began questioning the motives of the other butterfly, the butterfly community, and their own. Doubt crept in and they felt like they were spiraling back into the mental space they had left some months ago before meeting the black widow spider.
The rainbow winged butterfly did not like feeling this way. They did not want to be torn, feeling bad, and dwelling on all the things that made them miserable. For they were not a miserable butterfly. In this emotional roller coaster, they decided they needed to go for a coast. Flying and floating in the past helped them to clear their mind. Without thinking they began to lift from the cozy branch they had been cocooned on for many months. And there they went floating along the breeze, all cares falling from them. They decided to land on a flower sitting next to a stream.
As they were drinking from the flower’s nectar they happened upon their reflection in the stream. Suddenly, they were hit with powerful emotions. For what they saw were even bigger, more vividly colored wings than before. They almost fell off the flower for the shock of the image. In a brief moment, they thought they were seeing another butterfly upon them. When they came to they realized it was them. They inched a bit closer to the water saying, “that’s me…THAT’S ME!”
Yet, it was a new them. One thing the black widow’s silks had given them were streaks of sparkling silver and gold. For empathy looks like precious metals and gems when revealed.
In this moment, the rainbow winged butterfly felt renewed in their sense of self. The memories of the past year fell down upon them. They realized what they were made of, what they could do, and how they felt strong, safe, and entrusted themselves to take care of them. They also realized it was time for them to thank the black widow spider for their kindness, wisdom, acceptance, and support, and to move on.
The rainbow winged butterfly returned to the branch where their cocoon had been and waited for the black widow spider to return. When the black widow spider returned they molded the few remains of the cocoon into a bundle for the rainbow winged butterfly to carry in their travels. The memories of the healing and transformation were threaded into the fine lines of silk to remind the butterfly of where they came from, what they had been through, where they were going, and how to use their experience to help others the way the black widow spider had helped the butterfly.
Since, the butterfly’s transformation, the spider and butterfly have established an organization that helps individuals and groups who suffer from trauma. They use empathy, support, and listening to aid in the healing process. They have traveled the world sharing their experiences, touching lives, and showing how acceptance of one’s differences can transform lives.
Dedicated to the healers, the ones working through their trauma, the ones who have not accepted their trauma and/or power to heal themselves, and the communities of people helping, supporting, seeing, and listening to the people sharing their stories every single day. Sometimes you may be the spider and sometimes you may be the rainbow winged butterfly. Remind yourself of who you are, where you come from, and where you are going. Knowing there are going to be falls, setbacks, and pauses does not make your journey easier but giving yourself patience, grace, and kindness can make all the difference.
Visual representation of story on @tolbert_on_medium Instagram
