The Self-Date

2 min readJan 18, 2021


A List of Ideas on How to Regularly Date Yourself

Top of the clouds with the sun and in the middle stands a female figure that is perforated with their wrists crossed.
Image by Noupload from Pixabay

There is the cultural belief that once an individual couples and/or pairs up with another individual(s) that we lose ourselves. We are to succumb to the combining of lives, giving up our wants and desires, and some of who we are. I am here to say that is a nonsensical load of bull. I am of the belief that whether paired, thrupled, clustered, or single that we should take time for ourselves. We should court ourselves from time to time to remind ourselves not only of our self-love, but also the things, activities, and people we love. Love begins with one’s self and is best spread from this starting place. I suggest we take ourselves on a date regularly. The kind of date that we think about wanting someone else to do with us or for us, and also doing the kinds of things we like to do. Here are a few suggestions to get you thinking about Selfie Saturday and Sunday, Me Party Monday, Taken By Me Tuesday and Thursday, Wild With Yourself Wednesday, and Footloose and Fancy Free Me Fridays:

  1. Buy yourself wine and flowers.
  2. Buy yourself beer and wings.
  3. Buy yourself soda and candy.
  4. Buy yourself liquor and snacks.
  5. Watch all the shows/movies you have been wanting to see.
  6. Put a fire in your fireplace and snuggle in with that book you been wanting to read.
  7. Sleep!
  8. Play video games.
  9. Go to the indoor/outdoor driving range.
  10. Cook yourself a five course meal.
  11. Order food to be delivered and have a floor picnic.
  12. Put on your favorite music and have a dance party.
  13. Go hiking.
  14. Take a drive.
  15. Go shopping.
  16. Go for a bike ride.
  17. Go for a run.
  18. Take a long, hot bath.
  19. Paint, draw, color, take photos, create a piece of art.
  20. Go for a walk.

Combine these things and/or do one of them as often as you can. This list is comprised of things that you can safely do on your own during the pandemic. Get creative and come up with your own or do activities not listed here! But most importantly do not forget to love yourself and celebrate that love.

Visual representation of the story on @tolbert_on_medium Instagram.




Librarian and Information Specialist by day. Queer writer of poetry, sensuality, personal experience, and health by night. Instagram @tolbert_on_medium #BLM✊🏿